One of my very dearest friends/college roommate is getting married in the spring to a very lovely man she has been dating forever. I adore them both and would happily wile away hours writing odes to their awesomeness if I had even a vestigial ability to write poetry. Luckily for you, I do not.

And, I am in their wedding. Specifically, I am a bridesmaid. This thrills me to my very toes that they would ask me to stand up for them on this day, yet I am feeling surprisingly conflicted about it. On the one hand, I really couldn’t be more delighted to help my friends celebrate. On the other hand, I am struggling more than I thought I would with what I seem to think are the expectations of bridesmaidhood.

I apparently think that I need to be REALLY, REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC!!! about everything from the ring to the venue to the bridesmaid dress (which really is lovely, but which I am guessing is going to look a whole lot better on her willowy sister, who helped pick it out, than it will on my curvier frame). And, I just do not really do that rabidly enthusiastic thing for weddings, or, really, anything.

It’s not that I actually lack enthusiasm. It’s just that the it is not in my nature to jump up and down a squeal. For pretty much anything. Ever.

The funny thing is that my friend knows me at least as well as anyone else in this world, so, of course, she doesn’t expect me to magically transform into a high pitched girly, girl by dint of a single invitation. But, apparently, I think that happy shrieking is what bridesmaids do.

Gah. Seriously? Where do I come up with this bullshit?