You know how I said, in the very last post, no less, that I do not really do the girly shriek-y thing? Yes, well, apparently I lied because I am totally sitting here quietly squeee-ing in my head. And, over a sex toy at that.

Not just any sex toy, though. It take more than a cheap rubber dildo to get me worked up these days. No, it is the Eroscillator, the much lauded oscillating vibrator, and the “Top Deluxe” model to boot. It may look like a particularly hideous electric tooth brush, but is rumored to produce endless quantities of toe curling, life altering orgasms.

This, of course, is reason enough to be excited. Orgasms that make you see in the fifth dimension! But, I am at least as excited that I am getting it for free. Free! That is zero dollars, people!

If I had actually purchased this toy, I would be excited of course, but it would be mitigated by the fact that I just spent $200 on a sex toy, which is really awfully self indulgent, don’t you think?

I feel like I have won the lottery. I keep expecting that someone will come to their senses and snatch it back from me. Or, I will open the box, and there will just be note that says, “Ha ha. Just kidding.” That would be so sad.