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So, I updated my OKCupid profile last night. I wrote the original profile almost two years ago then just sort of left it almost perfectly intact since then. But, I’ve been thinking it might be time to dust it off and put some effort into meeting new people again.

It originally seemed to me that mentioning sex at all on that site was like waving a red flag in front of a herd of hormone crazed bulls. So, I hinted at what I wanted in the hopes that the effort required to discern my real meaning would weed out these incapable of figuring out that I didn’t really want three hundred messages asking me if, “u wanna sex” [sic].

Yeah, if you’ve ever tried the online dating thing, you are probably laughing at me right now. So while the old profile hinted at my taste for the rougher stuff,  the new profile states flat out that I am interested in BDSM.

I was a little bit afraid what this would bring out of the woodwork. So far it has been not so bad, but I did get this gem of a message today.

HI MY NAME IS TODDAND IAM 34 YEAERS OLD AND LIVE IN [distant state] BUT HAVE A HOUSE IN [my state]. I AM SINGLE AND HAVE3 TWO KIDS. I AM AMASTER AND IN TO BDSM IF YOU ARE INTRESRED YOU HAVE 3 MIN TO IM ME BACK

Aside from all of the fact that I am not looking for any “master,” much less a grammatically challenged one, I have to question this guy’s strategy. He sent me this message at 2:54pm. An hour when I am not routinely parked in front of my computer, fingers poised to send off IM’s to demanding strangers. I didn’t even open this message until well after 6pm. Guess I missed my chance. Darn it.

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